"Hey remember that time you…"

Yes. I remember every embarrassing thing I have ever done and chances are it keeps me up at night

(via ugly)

(via tothepoonandback)





things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through

(via spork)


(Source: hhoran, via butprettyisnteverything--right)

  • me: I should go shower now
  • (five minutes later)
  • (another five minutes later)
  • (yet another five minutes later)
  • (more five minute intervals)
  • someone: (goes into the bathroom)
  • me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
  • getting ready for school in the morning: sits on my bed without a shirt on for 10 minutes thinking about how much I hate school
  • me: mom... dad... im g-
  • parents: gay?
  • me: going into battle and i need only your strongest potions



(Source: the-mcmlxxv, via the-mcmlxxv)

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours, via funnyandsad)



would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

(via hotboyproblems)


there are probably more lost bobby pins than there are people in this world

(via funnyandsad)

niall talking about the ball that hit him in the face x

(Source: niallar, via sexonhoranlegs)


"how do we know you’re not a cop?"

could a cop do this?

[unarmed black teen walks by without getting harassed or shot]

"ah okay you’re cool"

(via banginbastille)


*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing

(via hotboyproblems)


Haha why do people even try this kind of stuff?


Haha why do people even try this kind of stuff?

(via spork)