drewchainzzzz:

"Hey remember that time you…"

Yes. I remember every embarrassing thing I have ever done and chances are it keeps me up at night

(via ugly)

(via tothepoonandback)

jibblyuniverse:

derpfire:

jibblyuniverse:

frenums:

things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through

(via spork)

x

(Source: hhoran, via butprettyisnteverything--right)

  • me: I should go shower now
  • (five minutes later)
  • (another five minutes later)
  • (yet another five minutes later)
  • (more five minute intervals)
  • someone: (goes into the bathroom)
  • me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
  • getting ready for school in the morning: sits on my bed without a shirt on for 10 minutes thinking about how much I hate school
  • me: mom... dad... im g-
  • parents: gay?
  • me: going into battle and i need only your strongest potions

[♠]

[]

(Source: the-mcmlxxv, via the-mcmlxxv)

(Source: mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours, via funnyandsad)

unclefather:

jesuschristvevo:

would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

(via hotboyproblems)

strictmom:

there are probably more lost bobby pins than there are people in this world

(via funnyandsad)

niall talking about the ball that hit him in the face x

(Source: niallar, via sexonhoranlegs)

neptunain:

"how do we know you’re not a cop?"

could a cop do this?

[unarmed black teen walks by without getting harassed or shot]

"ah okay you’re cool"

(via banginbastille)

eyebrowgod:

*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing

(via hotboyproblems)

thehumorplace:

Haha why do people even try this kind of stuff?

thehumorplace:

Haha why do people even try this kind of stuff?

(via spork)